Fitting Jesus In

When Peter, Andrew, James, John, and Matthew were invited to follow Jesus did they come to Jesus to die or to fit Jesus in their schedule.

When Saul on the road to Damascus was confronted by Jesus and become known as Paul. Did this dramatic chage occur in his life so he could come and die or come and fit Jesus into his travel plans.

When I look at the men and women in the New Testament I see people surrendering their lives completely to Jesus. I see them coming to Jesus to die. They died to their plans, their desires, their dreams, and they came alived to what Jesus wanted for them. They came alive to do His will. They also came to Jesus knowing it could mean their physical deaths. It cetainly meant Stephen's death, it certainly meant James' death and eventually Paul and Peter's deaths.

I am asking myself lately why I came to Jesu?. Did I come to just go to heaven? Did I come just so I would be a better person, you know more moral and nicer? Did I come so that God would bless me with a lot of stuff? Did I come to fit Jesus into my schedule? Or did I come to die?

I am asking that question for three reasons. The first one is that I see many Christians today who being a Christians means living the American Dream Jesus style. That Christianity in America seems at times to be a matter of saying a few magic words, getting baptized and then living based on what I want to do and asking Jesus to bless it. I have become very frustrated with that brand of Christianity. I see it alot in our nation and not so much in Christians from other countries.

Second I am scared that I have moved into the kind of Christianity that is about everything, but Jesus. I at times plan ways to do what I want at the expense of doing what God wants. I really want to die to self, take up my cross daily and follow Jesus. I want that but then when God gives me an opportunity to do it I pull back because it is going to cost and I afraid that God won't provide what I think I need to do it.

Third I am tired. I tired of being up and down. I am tired of feeling angry. I am tired of feeling defeated. I am to be honest tried of being tried.

I want to have one pure and holy passion, one magnificent obsession, one glorious ambition for my life to follow hard after Jesus. I want to die to my selfish desires and come alive to God's will. I want God to Raise the Roof and Remove the Walls of my life so I can come to Jesus and die.    

Joe