Friendship with the World Brings Fights and Quarrels

We are living in very contentious times. We divide people into groups and divisions and then we vilify them and make them our enemies. We do this so that we can dismiss them as evil and not have to really listen to them or deal with what they are saying or doing. We live in a culture filled with fights and quarrels.

James deals with two issues in the first part of James 4.

The first issue James deals with is what causes fights and quarrels.

James 4:1-3

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

James asks the question, “What causes fights and quarrels among people?”

James gives three reasons why there are fights and quarrels.

First, they come from desires that are battling in us.

When I have a desire but I know that it is not of God, then I feel guilty. When I feel guilty, I am more sensitive to what others may say or do. That sensitivity then leads to fights and quarrels.

In Philippians 2:5 we are told that our mind is to be the same as Jesus.

How am I able to do that?

The answer is found in Romans 12:2. It says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

We allow God to renew our minds, and through that renewal, we come to know God’s will. In knowing and accepting God’s will our minds are brought into unity with God’s mind. Then we are no longer at war with our inward desires and we experience the peace of God.

Second, we don’t have what want we want because we don’t ask God.

The most common unanswered prayer is the prayer that is not prayed.

Matthew 7:7-8

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks find; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Jesus says:

We get when we ask

We find when we seek

The door will be opened when we knock

If we don’t ask, we won’t get.

If we don’t seek, we won’t find.

If we don’t knock, the door won’t be opened.

We don’t ask, and then we feel frustrated, and that leads to fights and quarrels. 

We just need to ask God for what we need.

Third, we ask with wrong motives.

James says that when we ask for things solely for our pleasure, that is asking with wrong motives.

God wants us as He children to know and experience pleasure.

God puts two stipulations on pleasure.

The pleasure is to be what God wants the pleasure to be and in God’s timing.

The pleasure is not to be our focus but the outcome of obeying God.

Many people have the mistaken belief that God is here to give us pleasure and make us happy. God is here for us to give Him pleasure and for us to make Him happy. Life is about God, not you.

When I try to force God to do things my way, I will always fail. And that failure will cause me to be angry, and that anger leads to fights and quarrels.

The way to avoid that is to desire God’s will and let that be the priority of our lives.

Raise the Roof and Remove the Walls is yielding our lives to God and trusting Him to provide what we need and being at peace with Him.

The second issue James deals with is loving the world rather than loving Jesus.

James 4:4-6

You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? But He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

James says that if you choose to be friends with the world then you have chosen to hate God and be His enemy.

Why does friendship with the world put you at odds with God? James gives two reasons why friendship with the world is not compatible with friendship with Jesus.

First, the Holy Spirit who God has placed in every believer envies intensely.

In Exodus 34:14 we are told that God is a jealous God. God will tolerate no rival. He does not want any competition for your love and loyalty.

When we show love and loyalty to the world and not Jesus, it puts us in opposition to God’s will for our lives.

Second, friendship with the world leads us to take on the characteristics of the world. One of the major characteristics of the world is pride.

God opposes the proud.

Why is God so against pride? God is against pride because pride elevates self over God. Pride says that “I/Me” is more important than God.

God opposes anything in our lives that is more important than Him and that includes ourselves.

You don’t want to be opposed by God because you will lose.

You don’t want to be an enemy of God because you will be defeated.

Instead of being filled with pride and being an enemy of God, you want to humble yourself and be God’s friend. According to John 15:14 we become God’s friend when we obey Him.

Obedience means I humble myself and obey God.

When I humble myself and obey God, He gives me grace.

Pride = God’s Opposition

Humility = God’s Grace

Raise the Roof and Remove the Walls is choosing to be God’s friend by humbling ourselves before Him and obeying His will.

In Unity and Friendship with God Raising the Roof and Removing Walls,

                                                     Joe