Doubts

In a recent conversation I had the person expressed a reluctance to share their doubts concerning God with me because they didn't think I ever had any doubts. I know that many people think that pastors don't doubt. Well, I don't know about other pastors, but I do.

My doubts fall into one of two kinds. One area of doubt I have is about God's goodness.I doubt some times that He is a good all-loving God. I know that sounds bad. I don't doubt God's existence because there is just to much evidence that God is. I do however at time question God's love for people (usually me or someone I love). I don't always understand why God does something or allows somethings to happen. I some times don't have a clue as to what God is doing.

When I am in one of those doubt periods of my life I have found two things that help me to trust God. One is to believe God is who He says He is in Scripture and second to focus on the cross. I know I will never understand God fully. If I did He would be a pretty wimpy God. I have to believe that God is:
1 John 4:8 & 16 - Love
Psalm 111:4 - Gracious
Daniel 9:9 - Merciful
Exodus 34:6 - Abounding in Love
I have to see the cross as an eternal proof of His love and grace ande mercy. I have to believe along with Paul what he says in Romans 8:32, "He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" God gave Jesus so that my sin could be paid for and I could know God and be with Him for eternity.

So based on what Scripture says and on the reality of Jesus' death on the cross for me - I Believe He is a Good and Loving God!

The second area I have doubts about God are really doubts that I am not good enough. I believe that God can and is willing to do anything for You not me. I am a nobody and there is no reason why God should love me or do anything important in my life. My doubt is about God working in and through me.

When I have this doubt I simply argee that I am not good enough, I am not worth it, and that I don't deserve anything. I also acknowledge that I never will be good enough or deserve it. The fact that Jesus had to come and die for me says that God knows I Can't Do It! So by recognizing and admitting my totally inability to be good enough I again see the cross as relieving my doubts. I see God as agree that I am not good and that I don't deserve His love, but loving me anyway. When God loving me is based in Him and not me then my doubts can be handle.

I still at times doubt. The latest was let's see, yesterday. I will always go through seasons of doubting. It is not the doubting that is the issue, it is what do I do with my doubt. Peter summs it up well in John 6:68 when he says, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." I will go to Jesus.

Raising the Roof and Removing the Walls
                               Joe