Failure

I HATE failure! It is my greatest fear. I don't want to get to the end of my life and look back and feel like a failure. These last two weeks I have dealt with what I consider some huge failures. I have not been able to help couples repair their marriage relationships. You see, through some struggles and yeah, failures of my own I know what it takes to build a godly and fulfilling marriage. I am not perfect and my marriage is not perfect, but God out of His grace has given my wife and I an awesome marriage.

Several years ago it was not so awesome. It was weak and could have gone toward failure or success. I had not been the husband God called me to be. God's Word tells us as husbands to love our wives. The word used for love in this context is the Greek word agape. It means an unconditional love. A love with no end, no conditions or no boundaries. I was not loving my wife like that. I was loving her very selfishly which is not really loving her at all. God's Word also tells us as husbands to give ourselves for and to our wives. I was not doing that either. I was sitting back demanding that she do that for me. I hurt and wounded my wife very badly. There came a point in our marriage where she admitted not really having any feelings for me and really wanting out.

It was at this point that God in any awesome act of grace changed both my wife and I. He changed me by showing me that my wife and son were more important than my ministry and that in fact my first ministry was to them as husband, father and spiritual leader. He showed me how to love my wife and gave me the ability to do it. He showed me how to give myself to her and put her needs ahead of my own. He changed my wife by moving her to ask Him to give her a new love for me. He did!

Now here's where I feel like a failure. I try to commuincate to couples what it takes to have a godly and fulfilling marriage and they don't seem to be listening. It takes continually working at it and humbling ourselves to do it God's way. It takes a willingness to let God unconditionally love my wife through me and for her to unconditionally respect me through Him. Ephesians 5:33 says, "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Do you see the key? Husbands unconditionally loving their wives and wives unconditionally respecting their husbands.

God has shown me two truths that will allow God to turn marraiges in to fulfilling relationships. I know because God used these truths to change me.

Truth #1: Love Jesus more than you love your spouse.
God has to be first. Nothing else will work if you love anything more than Jesus.

Truth #2: Love your spouse more than you love yourself.
If you demand from your spouse more than you give that is called being selfish and it will hurt your marriage.

Raise the Roof and Remove the Walls by letting God give you a new realtiosnhip with your spouse in Jesus.

Joe

Real Life

In the Gospels most of the time that Jesus uses the word "life", He is using the Greek word zoe. Now I am not a Greek scholar. I am not a scholar of any kind. I however, love to study the words of the Scriptures. In studying the words of the Bible I have found that this word zoe translated life is one of my favorite words. We who speak English have one word that means all kinds of life, all levels of life, and all stages of life. In the Greek they used several words.
When Jesus says for example in John 6:35 that He is the Bread of Life, He uses zoe not bio for life. He also uses zoe in John 14:6 where He says, "I am the way and the truth and the life." If Jesus would have used bio, he would have meant that He was the Bread of biological life. If Jesus would have used bio in John 14:6 He would have meant that He was the way and the truth and the biological life. He didn't use bio, He used zoe. Zoe means life to its fullest. Zoe means living and just existing.
Jesus gives us a better picture of this in John 10:10 when He says that He can to give us life (zoe) to it fullest.
Jesus wasn't born to give us biological life. Jesus didn't live and teach and preform miracles to give us biological life. Jesus didn't die to give us biological life. Jesus didn't resurrect to give us biological life. Jesus did all of those things to give us real life, life that is full, joyous, adventoursome, and eternal. What amazes me is that you and I are so quick to settle for just a biological existence. I have come to want more than just a safe and comfortable life. I want to experience the kind of life Jesus offers us in a relationship with Him. I want to experience the kind of life Jesus lived.
Allowing God to Raise the Roof and Remove the Walls is experiencing life (zoe) to the fullest. It is not a life of safety, security, or comfort. It will be risky, but it will be worth all the risk. It will be a life lived giving glory to God.

Joe